sixteenth

NUCLEAR AGE

Woke up very early to watch a special sight

Atomic mushroom rising over a Nevada sky

Geiger counter clicking

Told there wasn’t danger

The cloud was in the air

I felt it in my hair

I’ll never be the same

Welcome to the nuclear age

Soldiers, get your head down

There’s gonna be a blast

Get up and march into ground zero

Now you’ve made your mark, human Guinea pigs

The cloud was in the air

I felt it in my hair

I’ll never be the same

Welcome to the nuclear age

Bomber pilot mission flying overhead

Just for observation, many years later

Cancer of the face, a hole in its place

The cloud was in the air

I felt it in my hair

I’ll never be the same

Welcome to the nuclear age

ALL THE WHITES

All the Whites are going Negro

Culture crooks wear pious halo

Elvis Presley stole from Negro

Ripped-off big boys guitar solo

Why, oh why, it happens all the time

Back to Black, the soul you stole

Can’t keep ‘em separate

Why, oh why, a song becomes a crime

Why, oh why, but for now...

Funky White boy

All the Straights are going Homo

Paradigm shift everywhere you go

Something queer never could you know

Yo-yo low blow, no quid pro quo

Why, oh why, it happens all the time

Fight the right, and hold the goal

Can’t keep ‘em separate

Why, oh why, we haven’t got the time

Why, oh why, but for now...

All the Poor are playing Lotto

Dough to blow from wages too low

Country clubs, and fat CEO

Use their heads for playing polo

Why, oh why, it happens all the time

Tax the facts, and poll the dole

Can’t keep ‘em separate

Why, oh why, begrudge a bum a dime

Why, oh why, but for now...

Funny plastic

Why, oh why, it happens all the time

Fight for right, and hold the soul

Why keep ‘em separate

Why, oh why, this song relates a crime

Why, oh why, but for now...

ALLEGIANCE TO NONE

I can’t comply with the ways of people

Some things that they’ll never understand

If I listen then, I’ll have to hear excuses

Then I know that their servitude is temporary

Allegiance to none

Not anyone

Allegiance to none

Not anything

Why contrast those divergent juntas

Fascist roots of the punditocracy

If I listen to the verbal obfuscation

Then I’ll miss the bloody class war teevee

Allegiance to none

Not anyone

Allegiance to none

Not anything

Tortured truth over reconciliation

Hey dude, where’s our “Seven days in May”?

If I listen to the mangled misperception

I know what it is, I was there when it was

Allegiance to none

Not anyone

Allegiance to none

Not anything

POMMY

Don’t you come the

Bloody raw prawn... Pommy!

Pull your head in, drongo

And give it a miss

I’m buggered if I know

Kick a dead dingo

Going for a Jimmy Britt...

...You Pommy twit!

Don’t get sarky

with yer mates... Pommy!

Up you for the rent

And drink with the flies

Loke a roo with bloody boils

You smell of rag and oils

Got the game by the throat...

...Oh, you Pommy joke!

A bit more choke

You would have started... Pommy!

Froth and bubble

You Richard Cranium

Brown in yer Cocky’s joy

Dead horse on yer little boys

Vamoose, yer floating toot...

...Pommy galoot!

WHINGE

Pommies try to tell you

England’s the place to be

When they doss Down Under

They’re stroppy all the way to tea

Bearded boffins in sandals

Walked the wallaby track

Don’t come smooddging ‘round

‘Cause the Bush is where it’s at

Whinge, whinge, whinge, whinge, whinge, whinge

Bloody whinging Pomms!

Whinge, whinge, whinge, whinge, whinge, whinge

Bloody whinging Pomms!

Kippers in high places

Blood is up Lord Muck

Cop some stick you blighter

You’ve got Buckley’s luck

Break it down, you bugger

Your lot just drags the chain

If you had another...

It would be a lonely brain

Whinge, whinge, whinge, whinge, whinge, whinge

Bloody whinging Pomms!

Whinge, whinge, whinge, whinge, whinge, whinge

Bloody whinging Pomms!

BACK IN OZ

Sorry ockers, fokkers, chockers

Bog on in, don’t hesitate

Barry Crocker, “What a shocker!”

Gonna cop it, get home late

Cheese and kisses, meet the missus

Drier than a Pommie’s towel

Hope your chooks turn into emus

And they kick your dunny down!

Apples, pears, up the stairs

Al Capone, get the phone

Captain Cook, have a look

Things are crook in Tallarook

Back in Oz again

Oi, oi

I’m back in Oz again

Oi, oi

Baby, baby, baby I’m back in Oz again!

Skin and blister, how’s your sister?

Right toe rag, full on mate!

How’s the wife? Trouble and strife?

Brahms or Lizst, man, pick your fate

Gin and tonic, supersonic

Uncle Bob’s grabbed his knob

Merchant banker, wot a wanker

Bloke’s a nutter, what a yob!

Dog and bone, drop the phone

Michael Caine’s missed the train

Come ‘round home, Pope’s in Rome

Telly’s busted, wot a pain!

Back in Oz again

Oi, oi

I’m back in Oz again

Oi, oi

Baby, baby, baby I’m back in Oz again!

God forbid, where’s that kid?

What’s that noise? Box of toys

Lemon squasher, window washer

Faith and hope, dropped the soap

Manhole cover, he’s me bruver

Nat King Cole on the dole

Fine and dandy, spot of brandy

Jackson Pollocks, bust me bollocks

Take a dump, Forrest Gump

Take a pee, Brenda Lee

Horse and cart, wot a prick

Hampton Wick, wot a prick

Back in Oz again

Oi, oi

I’m back in Oz again

Oi, oi

Baby, baby, baby I’m back in Oz again!

SAW HER TO PIECES

Mavens of mortality

Nuns and kidnapped daughters

Contentious inequality

A disaffected teen

Basic training and romance

Her alleged lover

A monster coming of age

Raised amongst the wolves

GAME AS NED

Come a gusta

Snafle a sanger

Who’s robbing this coach

Thirty-seven degrees in the water bag

If it was raining palaces

I’d get hit on the head by a dunny door

London to a brick

Oi, oi, oi

It’s all piss and wind

Oi, oi, oi

Like the butcher’s cat

It’s a bugger of a job

When you’re game as Ned

Middle of the bloody day not a bone in the truck

Tea and bickies

Wear your best bib and tucker on

Put the mockers on

Rat up a rope

Cool the tinnies, warm the set

Weekend warrior

Talking under wet cement with a mouthful of marbles

Fourpenny dark in a Vegemite jar

Played up the billy-oh till late last night

Case of the colliwobbles

Hit the bungadoo

One snagger short of a barbie, too

Up a sparrows, Dad and Dave

Hit the frog and toad

Feelin’ like a dog’s eye

If I’m not flat out

Sailor’s pub at the Rock in Sydney raffle a chook and duck

Cock a snook or two at the establishment

Oi, oi, oi

It’s all piss and wind

Oi, oi, oi

Like the butcher’s cat

It’s a bugger of a job

When you’re game as Ned

Middle of the bloody day not a bone in the truck

NO TALK IN THE EIGHTIES

Muttering in the tunnels

Stuttering in the streets

Your lies are fast

No, it’s just relief

No talk in the Eighties

Conversation’s great

No talk in the Eighties

It’s 1988

Nothing just a tunnel

Spray words in a street

Spray gun will be language

Spray words like a thief

No talk in the Eighties

Conversation's great

No talk in the Eighties

It’s 1988

THIS YEAR’S MODEL

The masses, they went for it

They jumped on a wave

Grab your coat and tie, become his slave

Ideals splattered all in a song

Fame and gloss, it’s waiting on you

This year’s model

Is this year’s asshole

WHAT AM I LIVING FOR?

What am I living for?

Can’t take it no more

Ten years from now, things will be the same

Even when I’m lying in my grave

What the hell am I gonna do?

BORED WITH THE BOYS

Put your female counterpart on a pedestal

Doing things you wouldn’t even do for yourself

Got your 3-piece suit and it’s dinner for two

And you think it’s gonna be another one-night stand

But it’s you who’s gonna be another notch on the belt

Bored, bored with the boys

Candlelight at night time to burn a few bills

Take your wages out to buy a few thrills

Motor club and drinks, then it’s back to your flat

And you think it’s gonna be another one-night stand

But it’s you who’s gonna be another notch on the belt

Bored, bored with the boys

SOLDIER

It’s an honorable discharge

For the man in green

He’s back in the States

But he can’t shake his hate

Machine of war

Put to rest

Futureless civilian

Can’t be appeased

Soldier, now you’re older

What’s your identity, now?

Security guard job

At a factory

Uniform for uniform

But it won’t suffice

Stays in his mind

Flashbacked to the fight

So when the comps came to get him

They had to take him dead

NOT MY KIND

Don’t give a shit, don’t really care

Don’t give a fuck about what I wear

Look at my eyes, see why I stare

All your lies reflected there

Not my kind

Stood in everybody’s way for so long

Is there a place, except at home?

Seems okay being a loner

I get the fuck right out of here

Not my kind, you stupid cunt

Not my kind

DO THE CARYL CHESSMAN

Complete immobility

Takes full grasp

Stores short of food

Car will be my target

For all my frustrations

Try to kill me if you can

Be like Caryl Chessman

Try to kill me if you can

Be like Caryl Chessman

Plague of insomnia

Guest episode

Bad honeymoon

Destructive creature

Do the Caryl Chessman

RECORDED 19 MARCH 2004